The Problem with "Hustle Now, Rest Later" – Why Are We Still Doing That?
No Vacation Required
Why are we still chasing someday?
Most of us are living in the waiting room of our own lives, deferring fulfillment until a future milestone is reached. In this episode of the No Vacation Required Podcast, we explore why we mortgage our current joy for a future that isn't guaranteed and how to find the sweet spot of happiness without putting your family's security at risk.
From a surreal encounter with someone experiencing a full-on epiphany (and that person being marched off in handcuffs) to answering listener emails about delayed fulfillment, this episode breaks down the misconception that fulfillment requires a radical external change. If you are waiting for the "right time" to start pursuing fulfillment, learn why the most important work you can do right now is simply figuring out you.
Onward and Inward,
SUPPORT NO VACATION REQUIRED:
If this episode helped you find a bit of clarity today, please leave a review on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube! It is the best way to help our message reach more people.
Subscribe: Never miss an episode by hitting the follow button on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube or wherever you listen to podcasts
Follow us on Instagram
CHAPTERS:
(00:00) Why are we still doing that?
(00:52) Mind Share: The poolside epiphany and the "system"
(04:51) Introduction to the Sparks episodes
(06:23) Listener Q&A: Living for the day the mortgage is paid off
(09:51) The myth of big, splashy fulfillment
(12:13) Knowing yourself as an invitation to the present
(16:55) Choosing happiness today vs. tomorrow
(24:02) Deep Dive: YouFinder and the power of an operating guide
(26:23) Worth the Time: Finding awe in nature
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
Present Fulfillment: Happiness is available in the present moment and does not require quitting your job or moving to a different country.
Self-Knowledge as a Guide: Figuring out who you are provides an operating guide that reduces confusion and helps you navigate a messy world.
The "Someday" Trap: Someday is a receding horizon; waiting for specific milestones to be happy is a choice to stay in a "waiting room".
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Previous Sparks Episodes on Communicating, Waiting for Ready, and Sitting Out
FULL TRANSCRIPT:
Caanan
Most of us are living in the waiting room of our own lives. We've convinced ourselves that fulfillment is a destination we reach once the bills are paid, the kids are grown, or the title is earned. But if we know deep down that someday is a horizon that recedes every time we take a step, why are we still deferring our joy?
Kent
Welcome to the No Vacation Required podcast, where we break down tired traditions and outdated thinking by asking the question, why are we still doing that? It's all about building a life you don't need a break from, being more present and fulfilled, and showing up in a complicated world that needs your voice and unique talents.
Caanan
Okay, Kent, I know you have what's on your mind because we actually talked about it. So go for it.
Kent
It's so us. It's so in the spirit of NVR, no vacation required in general, in the spirit of life lessons. And there's this cinematic part of it that I can't get my mind off of. And that is we're at a resort recently. We were by the pool in the late morning. So it was kind of chill, very popular resort. And there were quite a few people around the pool, but it was very late morning, like people just kind of revving up energy. All of a sudden, and we don't know the details, so I'm going to kind of assume a lot, but all of a sudden, a younger man just starts tripping completely. He was on something. We don't know what, we won't guess what, that doesn't matter. But he starts tripping and he's sort of like running around the pool area.
And at first, instantly, we were very concerned, the current state of the world. We're like, what's happening? What's wrong with this guy? And then all of a sudden, we paid attention to what he was saying. And it was basically, I've unlocked the secret to life. So whatever he was on, he was all about love. So we and everybody else around the pool was kind of watching this with increased—I don't want to say amusement because that sounds sort of pitying, but like we were failing it. Okay, let this guy, you know, have this moment, but then all of a sudden, because he's disrupting the pool, the resort in no insignificant way, all of a sudden all these hotel personnel start coming around. Right. And then the police get involved and there was something so surreal because this guy just wanted to say, I found the meaning to life. My God. And he was running around hugging everybody. And he was like, why do we do anything other than love people?
Caanan
Yeah, he was having a full epiphany.
Kent
Full epiphany. So the police come and they're like, sir, sit down. We want to help you. And he was like, don't you get it? I don't need help. For the first time, I get it. I mean, he was having that complete like madman every great show or TV you've ever watched, epiphany moment, and 60 of us are around the pool kind of wanting to help, but knowing that in this system we're in, like, you got to shut that stuff down. Or, you know, the system thinks it needs to be shut down. So this is on my mind so much, like, oh my God, this guy experiencing this great truth. And it's like, no, you're arrested.
Caanan
Let's get the police in here.
Kent
Yeah, the best answer we have is to arrest you and to put you in a psych ward. To put you in a psych ward. It was for finding the truth of the world.
Caanan
It was very conflicting because it was disruptive. So you're battling, if you're progressive like you and I can't, you're battling the idea of, I want to create a safe space for this person so that they can have this epiphany, and I wish they would share with me what they're learning, but that's not quite how it works, we know. But also, this is very concerning because this person is clearly tripping hard. So it was very conflicting. But it is funny in these, like what a perfect metaphor for the world we live in. This guy's having a full-on ego death, figuring out the world, and the police come and arrest him.
Kent
Yeah, it's like that does not work in this late stage capitalistic nightmare of a society. We're taking you to the psych ward and shutting you up. I used to be very happy, but today I'm very sad because this is the last time I get to say that this month we're centering our conversations around listener emails. And this month, these four episodes have brought us so much joy to talk about the sparks that our listeners are having when they've listened to prior podcasts, and they're writing us with kind of tag-along questions so we get to take things to the next level. Now, this one is from an episode that aired on November 12th. Why are we still chasing someday? But if you haven't, I want to send you back to the first of these Sparks episodes, which would be 3 episodes ago, was on communicating. And then after that, one on waiting for ready. And then the most recent one was on sitting out and actually not wanting to sit out when everything is changing. So Canaan, what did our listener write about?
Caanan
Yeah, I'll put links to all of those episodes in the show notes to make it so easy for you. We want to make it easy for you. But I too have found a great deal of joy in these emails. So please keep emailing us your aha or your sparks because it brings us joy and we know you want to bring us joy.
Kent
We might include you in Sparks Month 2027.
Caanan
That's a carrot to dangle. So this person wrote, I always think I'll start whatever living, I guess, once the mortgage is paid off, right? But I know that's not healthy or realistic. And then they go on to ask, I'm just skipping forward a little bit here. Oh, I don't want to keep pushing off my happiness, but I can't just walk away from my responsibilities. How do I fix the day-to-day without putting my family's security at risk? Yeah. Right? That's a great question.
Kent
That is the age-old question for no vacation required of age-old questions. We're mortgaging our current joy for a future that isn't even guaranteed. Why are we doing that? I, you know, this is probably where we have our biggest, biggest thoughts. You can't have this life that this listener is emailing about. And you and I had very much the same conundrum when we started our no vacation required life. You can't have this until you've figured out you. I mean, you can, but you're likely going to be just darting from thing to thing if you don't do that. You need to figure out you. That's how you can figure out how to find this sweet spot without, as the writer said, putting their family's security at risk.
Caanan
Yeah, you know what? It's just dawning on me, having just reread that, there's actually a fault in the question, because there's nothing that puts your family's security at risk by finding happiness now. You don't have to do anything that puts your life at risk or your family's security at risk in order to find happiness or your version of a no vacation required life in the current moment.
Kent
Right, there's always a tell. And the tell here is that everything feels confusing. And that's why I pointed to, oh, wow, you need clarity. You need to figure out you. Once you figure out you, things may still be off. They probably will be. But you won't be confused because you'll have an operating guide like, this is how I most effectively work. So that the person says, and this is what we hear so much from work groups and friends, confused, overwhelmed. It's a theme. I think it's been a theme in all four of these Sparks episodes we've done, just different dances on the same theme. If you're feeling that way on some level, you're grasping, you're getting through, you're trying things, you're living in a way that's not completely aligned with who you naturally are.
Caanan
I'm having some actual epiphanies based on this question myself. And it's that, like I just said, I think there's a fundamental misunderstanding of what fulfillment looks like, what we call a no vacation required life actually is. Because this question makes me realize that a lot of people I believe think fulfillment and no vacation required life means you're quitting your job, you're doing some external thing. You're moving to a different country. You're going to an ashram. You're doing whatever major thing, right? And you and I have a life that kind of aligns with that. But those things are not a no vacation required life, fundamentally. They may happen in a no vacation required life. But fulfillment, a no vacation required life, can happen right now in the present moment. And all you have to do is get to know yourself. Everything else may come from that. But happiness is available right now. Fulfillment is available right now. It has nothing to do with those big, splashy, social media worthy events or external things, right?
Kent
And I want to say this is the ultimate perspective shift because it's interesting how what we know to be true from our decades of experience, both with clients and our lived experience, is that all you have is right now. So if you're chasing this idea or this thing as you're talking about, that will never end if you don't know who you are. And I think this is the first time I've ever said this to you or I've thought this so clearly. In a way, knowing who you are, as we say, figure out you, is sort of a call to live in the present moment.
Isn't that interesting? I don't think we've talked about this, of course, loosely because they go hand in hand, but I've never really thought of it as invitation. The invitation it is because once you've figured out you, then paradoxically, you're not then trying to get away from something. You're realizing that everything is part of the process. So this email or so many of our clients is in the waiting room, right? But they're choosing to be in the waiting room because as we talk about in so many of our episodes, people claim to hate but really like that agitation, right? Like, they just love that.
And we get roped into this all the time. I know we've talked before on the podcast where we've just come back from some grand adventure or project or something that we haven't even digested and we're meeting up with loved ones and they're like, where are you going next? And I'm like, wait, we haven't even processed what we've done. Nor do you even know anything about where we're at right now. Everything is just so next.
Caanan
Yes, well, we've talked about this in several of the last podcasts, this idea of crisis hopping. And there's this idea that I want peace, but I'm just creating a lot of conflict. People are very uncomfortable with the calm and the peace and with the happiness.
Kent
Yeah. And especially with this rat race that we're talking about so much lately. The only thing that matters is today. It's the only thing. This moment is what you should care about. So if you haven't created your version of what we call a no vacation required life, if you're not feeling fulfilled, you only have right now to start. And maybe that means that right now, today, in this moment, you don't doom scroll. You don't get madder at yourself because you're seeing what everybody else is doing. You're not regretting the past. You're just deciding, okay, today is the day where I start to figure this out. And then maybe tomorrow is a similar day. And maybe through next month, you're still figuring yourself out, but you are on the path. You're finding joy in the path.
So even if you're quote unquote evolved, if you're still looking ahead, yes, that's a problem. It's funny, in our relationship, we have a love-hate relationship with looking forward to because we know that, I don't even want to say in a positive sense, I don't want to give it that much credibility, but there's something nice even in our great life to have that decaf at three to look forward to or that stadium concert on Friday to look forward to, or that getaway to California to watch somebody trip to look forward to. But we also catch each other like, hey, wait, be careful in that mindset because, you know, you want to save a lot of that energy for right now. And I think I think we do a really good job of acknowledging that happiness isn't in that decaf or the stadium concert or the trip to California. It's a fun little thing to look forward to.
Caanan
Yes. And you know what we say in the book, and I couldn't find the quote quick enough to actually say it here, but in the No Vacation Required book, we say, if you don't first figure out yourself, everything else you do and achieve and work toward money, love, travel, whatever, will fail to fulfill.
Kent
Yeah, I think we talk about this a lot in chapter 4. And again, this book is our own journey pretty deeply with really, I think, interesting stories. Isn't that funny?
Caanan
The most interesting.
Kent
The most captivating stories about ourselves, but also really great client stories and then some starter tools to get you going. And we talk a lot about this because this is a big reality among our clients. Like, okay, I've got the drift of this. I know who I am, but how do I sustain this when everybody else around me is doom scrolling and showing the most perfectly curated version of themselves. I think I want to close this section out by saying to keep it really simple.
Caanan
Keep it simple.
Kent
And kind of maybe annoying, but you have the right to be happy today, even if you're going to start being fulfilled tomorrow. And by that, I mean looking into who you are, figuring out your makeup, figuring out what energizes you and complete you. You have the right to be happy today. So admit that first, maybe even before you decide to figure out you. You are not a project that needs to be completed. You are perfect and worthy of happiness right now. And you're taking it from there. And it may not all click tomorrow, but you're holding on to that same idea and getting out of that mental turmoil, whatever your version of it is, getting out of that mental turmoil and realizing that happiness is yours for the taking right now.
Caanan
I want to just jump on what you were saying for this final segment, Kent, and start by saying that knowing yourself is essentially recognizing that fulfillment isn't some future reward for a life you've endured, right? But something you can create right now by bringing that someday version of your fulfilled self to this very moment to this messy Wednesday or whenever you're listening to this, right? That is the fundamental joy of knowing yourself.
Kent
Yeah. And we just had cause to talk about this the other day. We know ourselves well.
Caanan
We do.
Kent
We have this great no vacation required life, but you know what? The huge ups still happen, the little ups, the big downs, the small downs, all that is still going to happen. We are not saying that any of this is a recipe for eliminating the ups and downs of life. It's that fulfillment, as Canaan was saying, is yours for the taking right now. Happiness is yours for the taking right now. And if you know yourself, this road is going to be a lot less bumpy.
As you were talking, I was thinking about what we said at the top. You know, why are we mortgaging our current joy for a future that's not even guaranteed? I think of why we got into this life. I think of why so many people we know and work with. I want to have this life. And it's this interesting thing, people talking about this craving for peace one day, but right now I'm going to drive myself crazy. Yes, you're vibing on what I'm saying. It's like, sometimes there's the most intensity in that, this person who sees that out there and wants that, but it's almost like they're the most intense ones who are very much like, but only if I do, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, first.
Caanan
Because what you were saying is so true. You're still going to have big ups and little ups and big downs and little downs. You can't control what's happening in the world. You are in the world. But if you know yourself, you can control how you react to those things and how that impacts you at your core. And so those things are still going to happen. But if you understand yourself, they almost—I don't want to say they don't matter, but there's no confusion around your response to them.
Kent
They're happening around your empowered self-knowledge.
Caanan
Yes. And to be honest, you actually can start to avoid a lot of that drama. You can actually be the person who says, I want peace in my life, and then actually do something about it because you know how to navigate the world in which we are all living.
Kent
Yeah, exactly. So I want to break this down. So first we have, even though we talk about fulfillment via knowing yourself and all this, it really starts immediately. Fulfillment, happiness, it's a mindset shift first and foremost. That's #1. Number 2, I'm just going to call it the "hustle now, rest later" thing.
Caanan
No.
Kent
Don't do it. Don't buy it. Don't believe it. Don't doom scroll it. It's a lie. It's a lie, period. And I want to say #3, just stop performing in a way that doesn't fit. You're doing this, then everything becomes a rehearsal because it's not authentic and you'll never get out of what we call the waiting room or you'll never get out of rehearsal mode. Just quit performing in a role that doesn't fit. When you know yourself, you know how you're hardwired, you're performing—you're not even performing, I guess, is it performing from a place of authenticity?
Caanan
It's not performing. You're being you. And you know it.
Kent
By the way, we have another big problem with the word authenticity. I feel like I feel—
Caanan
Like I can't even get started.
Kent
I feel like this podcast is truth serum. I'll say a word like I did, authenticity that nobody would think anything of. And then—what is that? Here's my toxic trait: I will think in myself, like, they will know you're a liar if you don't tell them how much the word authenticity drives you crazy.
Caanan
And I'm glad we're not doing this on video because you say authentic and I'm like, oh God, I'm cringing over here. I have so much to say about that. But we will say a lot about it at some point because that's a good, fun topic.
Kent
So that's my toxic trait, just in case you're ever interested in dating me at some point in the future.
Caanan
They're going to have to get through me.
Kent
My toxic trait is I think of things that nobody's even finding a problem with or thinking about, and then I admit something that didn't need to be admitted. But yeah, authenticity is another strange word. But where were we? Where were we going?
Caanan
We're wrapping this up about how happiness and fulfillment are available to you today. And it just comes down to a mind shift and deciding to know yourself. No, it does not change the external world. It just changes your relationship to it.
Kent
And it's funny that you said available for you today. I was thinking that sounded very infomercially. And I'm saying it's funny you said that because I'm going to go into a big product pitch because I can't not mention our Keystone Foundational Product YouFinder, which we are currently working on perfecting even more. And I am so excited about it. It's going to be...
Caanan
We are plus, plus, plus, plusing it up.
Kent
Yeah, because it's just all the years we've done this, people who know themselves, know what they're made of, know how they operate, are so much more effective. You know how to work, as Caanan said, from a place of self-knowledge, a place of strengths, values, interests.
Caanan
That was the last episode.
Kent
Yeah, again, everything overlap. It's this wonderful overlap. You know how you refuel, how you find meaning. It just gives you a guidebook and we're actually moving towards it being more of an actual operating guide because people can't get enough of this self-knowledge. I remember I have to say doing YouFinder on ourselves for the first time and getting goosebumps like we always say, "Has somebody read my inner diary?" Like just a great validation of who you are. And we take typical personality metrics and compose them in a way that gives you this toolkit guide for—
Caanan
An operating guide.
Kent
Operating guide, yeah, for how to move through different scenarios. So emailer, it starts with knowing who you are, that you are confused, is a big tell that you're either trying a lot of things, going through the motions, figure out who you are. I have something that's worth the time in the spirit of getting in touch, getting in deeper touch with yourself. And you know we're big fans of nature, finding the awe in nature. I just think getting outside, touching grass, preferably if you live in a place like we do, close to abundant nature, like immersing yourself in that is just a pathway to giving yourself a mental rest and a breath.
And you get into this cadence with nature and experiencing the awe of it. And a lot of these questions start to answer themselves. You start to realize, like, why am I even thinking about this? And why am I doing that? Why did I spend some? You get so much clarity just by being in nature. So all the rumors, all the tropes, all the repeating of this is true. Getting in nature is worth the time. And that could be a park. It can be a walk around a park. I think it could probably literally be touching grass or touching a tree.
Caanan
Seriously, not everybody is fortunate enough to live in Seattle and be able to drive to the Alpine Lakes Wilderness as we are.
Kent
Yesterday, winter, we went and hiked a new lake. You know, Caanan was just reminding me it's so rare to be able to do this in winter. So it's just a good time as a reminder because we're recording this in winter in Seattle. Like you've got to get out there and rejuvenate deep breaths in nature.
Caanan
Absolutely. So if that means, yeah, you have to walk through some dirty snow to get to the nearest park and just stare at a tree in the cold weather, do that. If you can get out into the forest like we can, do that. Whatever you can do.
Kent
Thanks for listening to the No Vacation Required podcast. For more information, including services designed to help you build a life you don't need a break from, check out novacationrequired.com. And if you found this information helpful, please subscribe.