A recent client conference had us traveling and interacting with lots of other people. Honestly, this kind of work travel has never been our favorite. Our work, mostly centered on helping organizations and individuals take big leaps forward, is best done when we can stay in a bit of a protective bubble – all bathed in white light so that we can put out only the best vibes possible. After all, our ability to be mentally and emotionally available is a key part of our success.

Work can be stressful. Travel can be stressful.

Traveling for work can be really stressful. So there’s a palpable kind of anxiety that fills the air during these trips. Add to that all the understandable fears surrounding a recent spike in COVID, war(s) and armed conflict(s), and, you know, airplanes falling apart mid-air, and the “buzz” (not in a good way) gets pretty intense.

We often compare this energy to the pre-race nervous energy we’re surrounded by before we run a marathon; everyone jumping around, doing their weird rituals and questionably effective stretches. But there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s just the vibe, and everyone contributes to it.

Grassy meadow with wildflowers leading to forested hills and the hazy peaks of the Dolomites under a partly cloudy sky. — The Dolomites, Italy. Photo Credit: Us

Spoiler alert: People are stressed.

So why am I talking about this particular work trip?

Because we find, especially in situations like this work trip, that people are even more stressed than usual. On this particular trip, it made that “buzz” nearly unbearable.

And, to us, so much of it comes right back to perspective. Existing in this world right now, in 2024, is mad-making enough. We, as people, do not need to be anxious – I mean more anxious than we already are – about every. little. thing. happening around us.

One evening, a couple of people approached us after a dinner event and talked about how agitated they were over the day’s happenings. And, to make things worse, the agitation had nothing to do with reality and it was directed inward. For example, one of the two talked about all of the “missed opportunities” she created throughout the day – all the things she should have and could have said and done. Had she not bolted away so quickly to get another glass of “coping” wine, I would have told her how ridiculously hard she was being on herself.

Another day, when a friend passed me in the hall with his eyes glued to his iPhone, we had an encounter that went something like this.

Lights up on two men in a corridor

Me: Hey! How’s it going?!

Him: Ugh. I’m so stressed.

Me: What’s going on?

Him: I’m too busy to talk (as he walks off).

End Scene.

Interestingly, we’re living at a time and in a culture where being “stressed” and “too busy” are badges of honor. Like social currency. Like, tell me you’re “doing important work” without telling me you’re “doing important work.”

During yet another moment on this trip (and I promise this will be the last thing I dig up from my deep well of memories from that journey), we were informally debriefing with a few other people. One person was noticeably (and, TBH, annoyingly) distracted while futzing on her laptop. When asked about it, she said she was “rethinking her presentation.” The one she gave earlier in the day! Long story short, she thought she could have made better choices. She was not relieved when told by everyone present that 1) her choices were brilliant and 2) that it was literally finished business.

Talking about mental health: an important step, but just a step

We have a mental health crisis in this country. It’s no secret. Anxiety and depression are so prevalent that the Surgeon General has declared it a “devastating” crisis.

People have been stressed out (like the examples above) for a long time. Yes, it’s getting worse, but it’s been our collective dark passenger for a long time.

What hasn’t been happening until the last few years is heightened talk of mental health concerns. But here’s the thing: It doesn’t seem to matter. Everyone is talking more about their own mental health and – seemingly and sometimes admittedly – doing little or nothing about it.

But why?

I am going to go back on my word to talk more about that work trip. During lunch one day, someone told us that work gave him a nervous breakdown, prompting him to take a year away from the job. But he came back to the job and is still trying to figure out how to take care of himself. By his own description, he’s sort of “winging it” each day.

Grand Canyon National Park. Photo Credit: Us

Oh, and on our flight home from that work trip a flight attendant told us her doctor recommended 6-weeks away from work after she suffered breakdown-inducing bullying from passengers fighting her about the mask policy in 2020 and 2021. Her story is very similar to our work friend. She’s also “winging it” because her healthcare plan doesn’t offer robust mental health resources. Instead, her employer offers a subsidized subscription to a meditation app. 😒

Sunlit view of the Grand Canyon with vibrant cliffs, dramatic skies, and deep canyon shadows. — Grand Canyon National Park. Photo Credit: Us

We can’t keep going like this.

The same amount of conversation, a little more action

Openness about mental health issues has been a powerful step in reducing shame. So, talking and thinking about mental health is critical.

But conversation isn’t going to cut it.

And rumination isn’t change.

We built No Vacation Required by going against the grain. Now, there’s nothing more important to us than our fulfillment and health, including mental wellness. We’ve made changes – internally and externally – to improve and protect our mental health. And that’s our recommendation.

If you want to be healthier and happier, you have to make the internal and external changes necessary to achieve that. Some initial steps to consider:

Start a gratitude journal. Yes, this is the mental health equivalent of telling you to stay hydrated, but gratitude is transformational (so says the science).
Spend as much time talking and thinking about what is working in your life as you do on your “trauma journal.”
Interrogate (and perhaps change) your measures of success. Is the way you are evaluating your success creating stress in your life? What if “less stress” was your key measure of success?
Look at your role models. Are you modeling your life after somebody else’s (probably incomplete, likely fabricated) projection of success?

Our protective bubble was poked a few times on that work trip, but we stayed centered and were able to model a different way of being for people who needed it. One person said “I can’t believe I told you guys all of that. Thanks for being so supportive!” That feedback is one of our key measures of success.

We want you to be healthier and happier.

We want you to make positive changes in your life.

Then one day you find yourself doing better.

Then one day you inspire and support other people.

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