In a Mexican restaurant, selected because the ambiance was so lacking that the food must be incredible, we connected with a group of new friends. Sipping “mezcalritas” that were too-smokey for our tastes, the conversation quickly became a round robin of ambitions. One guy talked about how stressful planning his family vacation was. Another shared that he was working “way too much” to get a promotion. Lastly, one of our new friends – we’ll call him Brandon – said, “I’m marathon training. I’ve got a 10-mile run tomorrow and I’m dreading it. I’ve been training so hard that it’s making me physically ill. But I know I can push through it.”

Turns out, this new friend was not just training to complete a marathon. He’d already done that. He was training to beat his previous pace and, ideally, place in the top of his (very competitive) age bracket.

Our advice to everyone at the table. It’s time to de-hype that sh*t.

It might sound surprising, but in the realm of peak performance coaching – a methodology originally developed for athletes but that works surprisingly well across a broad range of situations – sometimes, the path to achievement lies in lowering the stakes, not raising them.

Lake 22, Granite Falls, WA. Photo Credit: No Vacation Required

The Surprising Truth About Peak Performance

When we think of peak performance, we often imagine high-pressure environments and ambitious targets. The term itself conjures visions of mountaineers scaling terrifying peaks. But peak performance coaching challenges this perception. Instead of focusing on bigger, harder-to-reach goals – or any end result, for that matter – peak performance coaching promotes sustainable success by managing mental, emotional, and physical energies effectively.

One key takeaway from peak performance coaching is the concept of “unshackling” from rigid outcomes. Sure, the idea of ‘going all in’ sounds motivating, but it can also create pressure that, ironically, compromises performance, creativity, and well-being. De-hyping a goal helps reduce the burden of expectation, allowing individuals to operate from a place of curiosity and personal fulfillment instead of fear of failure.

The Power of Self Defined Measures of Success

Here we were, drinking the cocktail equivalent of a campfire and talking about things that should be exciting: vacation planning, promotions, race training. But all anyone can focus on is how stressed, anxious, and physically ill it’s making them.

We’ve seen this before, which is why our advice to the group was to evaluate their respective measures of success and de-hype their goals. Because what good is achieving an outcome that doesn’t serve you beyond a brief sense of achievement? Brandon, for instance, wasn’t becoming a happier, healthier person because he was killing himself to be the top in his age bracket in this specific race. In fact, as he went on to share, he was pushing himself so hard that he was concerned he might not even finish his training, much less the marathon.

Side note: We don’t mean to harp on Brandon; his drive is a fairly common version of achievement-mindset we encounter with friends and clients everyday. But his specific goal, to beat his previous race pace at almost any cost, is very easy to grasp.

What if, instead of chasing leaderboard numbers, Brandon challenged the traditional definitions of success and created his own? What if his focus was on maintaining a consistent training schedule without compromising his wellness? What if he stopped timing himself altogether and redefined success as finishing the race feeling healthy? These internal measures of success, tailored to Brandon’s unique circumstances and well-being, could dramatically shift his experience.

But let’s be clear: Brandon doesn’t have to abandon his desire to “win the race.” Peak performance isn’t about eschewing all external goals. It’s about creating a balance – where personal growth and well-being take precedence. This recalibration often leads to better outcomes, paradoxically, because it removes the mental blocks that high stakes can create. Instead of worrying about missing the mark, you allow yourself to engage more fully in the process.

Why Focusing on Process Yields Better Results

One principle peak performance coaching emphasizes is the importance of focusing on the process, not the outcome. If Brandon makes the journey his focus – enjoying the process of training, learning to love the rhythm of running – he stands a far better chance of not only finishing the marathon but doing so with less stress and more enjoyment.

High achievers often fall into a trap: they become so outcome-focused that they forget to enjoy the path. But when we start to enjoy the process itself, a shift happens – one that is vital for unlocking higher performance and preventing burnout. As Brandon eases the pressure, his performance could improve because he’s no longer carrying the weight of external expectations. And as a bonus, when the pressure drops, the goal often becomes easier to reach.

Beyond the Finish Line: Creating New Skills

In our work with high-performing teams, we’ve seen the transformative power of looking beyond immediate goals. Take, for example, a group we coached who were pursuing a major contract. When they got in touch, they asked (we’re paraphrasing), “Can you coach us to win this contract?” “Yes and no,” we replied. We could help, we shared, but we would spend very little energy on the end goal. Instead of focusing on landing the sale, we encouraged them to develop skills that would serve them long after the pitch:

• Transferring enthusiasm: The ability to tap into their own passion to genuinely excite others about their ideas.

• Effective collaboration: Understanding each individual’s personality and motivations to work seamlessly as a unit, even under pressure.

• Resilience: Maintaining composure and creativity in the face of setbacks.

By shifting their focus to these areas, the team not only positioned themselves strongly for the contract but also developed capacities that would serve them in every future endeavor. Whether they won the contract or not, they had already achieved something valuable.

This principle works just as well for personal goals. When you cultivate skills, habits, and mindsets that extend beyond a specific goal, you set yourself up for longer-term success. Winning a marathon, landing a contract – those are moments. Skills, on the other hand, stay with you.

The Ultimate Measure: A Healthier You

At the core of this de-hyping philosophy is a radical idea: your ultimate measure of success is always your physical and mental wellness. It’s about asking, “How can I grow in a healthy way from this experience?” regardless of the external outcome.

This doesn’t mean lowering your ambitions. On the contrary, it means elevating your standards for what truly matters. Sustainable high performance comes not from pushing yourself to the brink but from nurturing your whole self. For Brandon, success could mean finding joy in the training process, strengthening his body without breaking it, or using running as a tool for mental clarity rather than a source of stress.

In the end, de-hyping is not about dimming your dreams. It’s about choosing a path to achievement that doesn’t require sacrificing your well-being. It’s about recognizing that the most impressive feat isn’t crossing a finish line at all costs (or any other external goal), but arriving there as a healthier, more balanced version of yourself.

Or, in the way we put it to our new friends over drinks…

The world is on fire. There are way too many things we can’t control that are stressful, so let’s stop over-hyping the things we can control.

It’s okay to let your vacation unfold when you get to the destination.
It’s okay to slow(er) roll the promotion track.
And it’s okay to just run for the hell of it.

Onward and Upward,