If you are even a casual consumer of cult-related content – no, not Dianetics; cult documentaries, podcasts, and articles – you’ve almost certainly blurted out this question:

“Who is stupid enough to join a cult?”

In the HBO documentary about the NXIVM cult, The Vow, Mark Vicente gives the answer. And it’s about as simple as can be.

"Nobody joins a cult, nobody.”

Tolmie Peak Lookout, Mt. Rainier National Park. Photo Credit: No Vacation Required

This is true.

So if people don’t join cults, why the hell are there enough cults with enough members to make cult documentaries a consistent binge? Again, pretty simple; people are seeking.

People are seeking answers.

People are seeking a sense of belonging and connection.

People are seeking order in a world that feels out of control.

People are seeking to fix themselves.

And then they find something that appears to give them everything they are seeking. How satisfying that feeling must be. To have this profound moment of satisfaction and relief when it seems like you’ve stumbled on the fix!

Who doesn’t want that sense of satisfaction? Who wouldn’t then sacrifice a little to hold on to that feeling? Who wouldn’t cede a little control or look past some things that make you a little uncomfortable if it meant you could be done with all the seeking?

When we’re looking to be fixed, we are all “stupid enough to join a cult.”

This is true.

In a Gallup study on well-being, record numbers of US respondents evaluated their life in stark terms: struggling or suffering. We’re talking about 50% of all Americans.

Why is that?

For one, we are steeped in the idea that we are all failing. That we are inherently flawed. That we are one moment of weakness from complete self-destruction.

This message permeates almost every aspect of our culture, from religious doctrine to skincare marketing, because it is a great sales strategy. You can’t sell something to people who know they are already okay. So you need to make them believe that they aren’t okay.

Sunrise, Mt. Rainier National Park. Photo Credit: No Vacation Required

And then there’s social media. Even though we all know – and the science is telling us – that increased use of social media is making us feel lonely and inadequate, we keep going back for more. We keep consuming the lie that everyone else is doing so much better. Even the people talking about their trauma seem to be doing that better. So the message is clear: you are the problem.

But you are not the problem. And you are not a problem.

You are enough.

This is true.

We get it. “You are enough” is a little cliche. A little cheugy. A little cursive-neon-pink-sign-on-a-living-wall. But there is simply no better way to say it.

You are enough.

You don’t need to be fixed. You don’t need anything – no group, no self-help program, no supplement, no “hustle” – to be valuable and worthy of love. You simply are worthy and valuable because you are.

This is true.

There is this one thing, though.

Just because you are inherently valuable and loveable doesn’t mean you know that. Something can be true and not be known. We all know that. So you don’t need to be fixed, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have work to do.

First, trust that fulfillment is an inside job. Then, do the work to learn about yourself.

Take the time to understand the things that make you, you. Learn about your personality. Examine and/or define your values. Evaluate your beliefs. Figure out your inherent strengths. Explore your natural preferences. And then lean into those things.

Knowing yourself provides answers.

Knowing yourself provides an internal sense of belonging.

Knowing yourself provides a framework for decision-making in a world that feels out of control.

This is all true.

It makes us happy to binge a good cult documentary, feeling like we are learning a little bit more about the human condition.

But we would be happy to do without.

We’d be far happier if everyone knew themselves and understood their intrinsic worth. We’d be over the moon happy if that understanding kept people from falling prey to cults and other external “fixes.”

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Onward & Upward,