Changing Your Mind Isn't Flaky – Why Are We Still Doing That?
No Vacation Required
Is Changing Your Mind a Sign of Weakness or a Mark of Growth?
In a culture that prizes being "resolute," we often treat our decisions as final – even when they no longer serve us. We break down why changing your mind isn't about being flaky; it’s about clarity, discernment, and the fluidity required to build a life you don't need a break from.
From analyzing "boxed-in" opinions on social media to navigating major career pivots, this episode explores how to remain open to new information in an increasingly polarized world. Whether you are rethinking a New Year’s resolution or a long-term professional track, learn why the ability to pivot is one of the smartest moves you can make.
Onward and Inward,
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CHAPTERS:
(00:00) Why are we still doing that?
(01:00) Mind Share: Year-end "Best of" lists and the art of 2025
(03:17) The fluidity of changing your mind
(06:00) The "Flip-Flopper" myth
(10:15) Escaping the trap of "boxed-in" opinions
(14:20) Growth vs. Cult Mindsets: The power of new information
(20:00) Changing your mind on careers, school, and resolutions
(22:00) Worth the Time: After the Hunt movie review (Julia Roberts & Andrew Garfield)
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
Clarity over Confusion: Changing your mind based on new data is a sign of paying attention, not a lack of conviction.
The "Resolute" Trap: Being "belligerently resolute" is often just a refusal to grow.
Career Pivots: How to feel comfortable changing direction to avoid long-term disasters in the wrong field.
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
FULL TRANSCRIPT:
00:00:01 Kent
Welcome to the No Vacation Required podcast, where we break down tired traditions and outdated thinking by asking the question, why are we still doing that? It's all about building a life you don't need a break from, being more present and fulfilled, and showing up in a complicated world that needs your voice and unique talents.
Since we recently talked about quitting, it's the perfect moment to tackle its close cousin, changing your mind. If quitting makes people squirm, changing your mind about quitting seems to send the whole system into a meltdown. We've been trained to treat our decisions as final, even when new information shows up. But here's the truth. Changing your mind about quitting isn't confusion. It's clarity. It's paying attention. And it's one of the smartest moves you can make. Canaan, what's on your mind this week? What's your mind share?
00:01:03 Caanan
My mind share this week is top 10 lists or best of lists.
00:01:08 Kent
Yes. I love it.
00:01:09 Caanan
They're all coming out and I don't know, there was just so much good content. Oh, I hate to even call it content because some of it was such great art this year. And we still have quite a bit on our list that we need to get through before we sort of figure out our own top 10 list.
00:01:28 Kent
Yeah, movies, TV, books.
00:01:30 Caanan
Yeah, and music.
00:01:33 Kent
Music.
00:01:33 Caanan
I don't know. I'm just, I'm just loving most of it.
00:01:38 Kent
Yeah. But if you, hey, if you don't have those things you hate, then you don't know what you love.
00:01:45 Caanan
But you know what? We've had so many things this year that even though we didn't love them, we ended up talking so much about them. We've actually shared some of them in our mind shares. I'm sorry, our worth the times. Yeah. And so we're figuring out sort of a whole new cache of worth the times for next year. And I'm just excited about all of it. What about you? What's on your mind?
00:02:11 Kent
I have an attitude of gratitude. I just feel so grateful. Yeah, as I was writing down notes for this podcast that we're recording today, I just thought, we're so lucky we get to do this. And I love that we get to help people. I love that we get to put something positive and useful out into the world. I love that we bring our clients to new highs in their lives.
So I'm feeling very, very grateful and also very mindful of the, we talk about it every week, all the strife out in the world, just thinking about always reminding us and me to be kind because we've got our health, we're happy, we know there's dips in that, there are in every life, there will be changes and we've got this now so we can, I'm grateful that we can be of service to other people.
00:03:17 Caanan
So why are we not changing our minds? I laugh at this a little bit because as I think about the arc of our podcasts, something that's showing up, a theme that's arising is fluidity. So it's kind of funny. One day we'll say, you know, why aren't we changing? And then the next week we'll say, why aren't we doing things that already work for us?
What it really comes down to is this idea of fluidity and changing your mind is that fluidity. You know, the world is always changing. We're always changing. We're growing. We're learning new things. New situations are arising. It's okay to change your mind. And for some reason, we have this culture of if you've decided something or if you've made a plan or whatever. And we're not saying be flaky. That's a whole different thing. We're saying when new information shows up for you, it's okay to respond to that information in the way that is right for you at the time.
00:04:27 Kent
Yeah, I think a lot of people who we work with and friends, this is always the first thing that comes up. But what if blank, trying to forecast a few minutes? And there's this wide-eyed look like, but I'm going to be locked in. There's nothing I can do. What if this? What if that? What if they get the report to me on time? What if my friend does apologize? We're always so happy to say, then you can change your mind. You can change your mind. This isn't being flaky. I think people have this idea that it takes them so much to be firm.
00:05:07 Caanan
Yeah.
00:05:08 Kent
That then the idea of changing your mind seems like that's not in my DNA. That's not how I was raised. You know, this, this, a common theme in, in what we do is talking about nuance and discernment and perspectives. Yeah. I love this topic, especially because it's about, okay, well now I have new information, so I'm going to make this decision. And I'm so glad you mentioned this is not about being flaky. Never, ever be flaky or wishy-washy or too quick.
00:05:45 Caanan
Yeah.
00:05:46 Kent
Flip-flop. This is about mindful changing your mind.
00:05:50 Caanan
Yeah. You know, it's funny to me too, because even hearing you say, I changed my mind, instantly sends sort of a message like that. You just don't say that. It sounds bad.
00:06:04 Kent
Yeah, do you hear me laughing over here? Like I knew exactly where you were going with that. It sounds bad.
00:06:11 Caanan
It sounds bad. It's like you're not allowed to just say, oh, I changed my mind. I learned something new and I changed my mind. And I think what just came to me is what's modeled for us, like politicians especially will say something and then years later will have shifted their view. And I'm not talking about people just being political.
00:06:36 Kent
I see.
00:06:36 Caanan
I'm talking about politicians changing their views as the times have changed.
00:06:42 Kent
Yes.
00:06:43 Caanan
But if they do that, they're called flip-floppers or waffling or whatever derogatory term. And I always think, again, not when people are just being political and trying to play both sides.
00:06:56 Kent
Yes, because I was going to say they do that too in the near term. Right? There's a lot of that in the near term, but talking about discernment, there is a lot of actual becoming and nuance and discernment that changes a view over time. And politicians, I'm so glad you brought this up, is such a great example because you see both sides, the flaky side on the one hand, but then it makes it more easy to see the real thoughtful side on the other hand.
00:07:24 Caanan
Yes, but I feel, I fear that because in terms of politics, there is no room for a politician to evolve their stance without it being used against them, that it sends a message to all of us that you're not really allowed to evolve your stance or change your mind, that there's something inherently good in being belligerently resolute. Oh my gosh, resolute, we call it the resolute desk. Just being so firm in your stance is a virtue. And it's, that's not true at all. It's just called not growing.
00:08:04 Kent
Yeah. I want to say an example of this in our, in our personal world to make this real simple. A lot of the need for this comes up when you actually know yourself, when you know your parameters, when you know your boundaries. And I think of all the time we spent in our real intense growth stage of a business where we were super busy and we had to give potential clients and even return clients kind of out there parameters for completion.
00:08:38 Caanan
Yeah.
00:08:39 Kent
And it would kind of make people really mad. Like, why is it going to take four weeks or two months or six months? But we weren't going to change what was realistic to give quality work and all of that stuff. But then oftentimes they'd come back around and say, actually, I can do that. Or, you know, actually, if I change the parameters, could you meet me halfway or whatever? We, we were always being very fluid and I'm really proud of us for not being, for being firm in what we needed, given a certain set of parameters, but being big enough to change our minds and to work with you and to look at something a different way.
So in terms of changing our minds, the topic of why are we not changing our minds, I think of character values. And we do a lot of work with clients on character values. Knowing your personality is always our first foundational step, but values play a huge part as well. And one of the most beneficial character values for changing your mind is perspective.
And you were talking about politicians as an example, but it really applies to any kind of like willingness to be flexible in thought. Perspective comes to mind and there's this real interesting thing going on in my world right now because I have to be on Facebook as part of a forum, as part of a group that I'm a part of. And I've, we have not been on Facebook for forever. You won't, you'll just have me tell you.
00:10:30 Caanan
Yeah, I don't envy you having to be there at all.
00:10:34 Kent
But to be perfectly honest, like all the rumors we had heard about it are true. And even just in generally clicking around in order to get to this private group that I'm a part of, being confronted with all of this very MAGA centric information is just insane to me. Just completely bizarre, stilted takes on things.
00:11:01 Caanan
You used the term boxed in opinions the other day, and I loved it.
00:11:05 Kent
Yeah, it's very boxed in opinions, you know, like this, this one thing, this post about, you know, somebody saying, uh, they got another illegal at the grocery store the other day in just these boxed in opinion sort of ways. And all the comments were just congratulatory and yay. And the couple of people who popped in, you know, trying to say like, oh, actually that person wasn't illegal, yeah, that was a mistake, those voices, and they're rare on Facebook, get shut down immediately.
Nobody, as far as I can see, is willing to take a different perspective, to consider new information. And that's a big part of this. It's a big part of growth. It's a big part of being a human being. And know that this isn't about being MAGA versus being progressive, but this is a part of it. Like who have we become that we can't accept new information in even the ways that you and I outlined in the intro about timeframes for a client or anything.
We are a society full of so many people who can't change their minds or won't change their minds. And a lot of it is an inability to consider new information, things that actually have credibility. And in like this extreme example that I chose to bring up, because I think it's detrimental for our country, it's really tough to see that. You can see people being so closed off. And so I imagine, what's this person like to work with? What's this person like to be a relative of or whatever? It's not a pretty picture.
00:13:02 Caanan
Yeah, I love that you brought up politics, essentially. I mean, we usually don't because it's fairly incendiary, although our politics are pretty clear.
00:13:13 Kent
Yeah. Let me actually just make that clear. Not MAGA.
00:13:17 Caanan
No, not MAGA. But, you know, everything is political. And as I mentioned earlier about politics being this really terrible example for an inability to be flexible or to change your mind. Yeah, I'm just glad you brought that up because this is an area where it's, as you said, detrimental to our country that people have this inability to challenge their own perceptions or to take in new information and then actually do something with that information. Heck, people refuse, as you mentioned in these forums, to even take in new information, much less change their mind or do something with it.
00:14:03 Kent
Oh, if you try to bring a fresh perspective, even succinctly, kindly, you are met with absolute vile hate.
00:14:14 Caanan
Yeah. So I think what's really key here is changing your mind is okay. That's what we're saying. It's, this is, this is growth. If you're not changing your mind, you're not growing. And that's just fundamentally terrible for all of us. But in order to change your mind, you have to be willing to take in new information. And if you're being shut down from taking in new information or from questioning things, the place you're in, that's a cult. And if you're shutting people down who are trying to take in new information or examine things from multiple angles, certainly if you're shutting people down simply because they're changing their mind based on new information.
00:15:02 Kent
Yeah.
00:15:04 Caanan
I mean, what else can I say but stop it?
00:15:06 Kent
Yeah, I think there's something interesting here since we're doing a kind of unintended lean in to a certain topic. I was just thinking about, and I can't remember who it was, but a famous, very famous, newsperson who's since kind of stepped away a bit and is now kind of being a little more honest about their very valid take of the world. And she's talking about how people across the internet are coming after her, calling her horrible, mean, judgy, bitter, irrelevant. And she's saying, well, I'm just offering information. I'm offering these different perspectives. But people will not only not consider the perspective, it's this, like, you're just a bad person for saying that.
00:16:03 Caanan
Close down the channel completely.
00:16:06 Kent
Close down the channel completely. And I think an important thing to say here, is that, you know, this person, and it reminds me of us, is completely open to a dialogue. And there's the thing is in so many cases, and again, this has been my experience on Facebook. I know this doesn't apply to everything across the board, all those disclaimers, blah, blah, blah. But this inability to even want to engage.
And I think about you and I continue to do this in this pretty rough political landscape. And I think when we're interacting with somebody who's more moderate or, you know, right or MAGA, and one of his assistants will say, like, that's a really good point, you know, we do have a crime problem or whatever. It's astounding, right? And then it becomes, oh, I didn't know you were MAGA. And it's like, no, we're not MAGA. We're not even close to MAGA, but I can recognize there's a crime problem in Houston or whatever, and not want 5,000 more police officers arresting people with no reason, right? It means, yeah, I see this as a problem too. There's other ways we can look at improving it.
00:17:28 Caanan
Yes. It means I'm hearing what you're saying and I'm recognizing that there's some validity to it.
00:17:35 Kent
Yeah.
00:17:36 Caanan
And maybe that will inform the way I think about the situation. I might change my mind based on that information. I might not. Just because you're taking in new information doesn't mean you have to change your mind. But you do have to be open to the idea that new information may result in you changing your mind. And if you're not, you're, as we said earlier, you're just simply not growing.
00:18:06 Kent
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So it's important to be able to change our minds about things, especially in just the simple things that happen every day. And that's what we intended to talk about on this podcast. The simple things happening, the decisions you're making, the goals you're doing, but this kind of political framework that we set up works really well as a big kind of extreme example. And we acknowledge it's an extreme example, but you've got to be willing, no matter who you are, what your beliefs are, to be taking in new information, to be willing to see other perspectives. And you can continue to disagree, but you've got to play fair. You've got to come with ideas. You've got to come with something to say about why you had, why you have the opinion that you have about something. It can't just be regurgitated inaccuracies that you're then going to get mad if somebody poses a counterpoint to. Do the work, know who you are, know what you stand for, have an openness to reason, and then who knows, you might just change your mind.
00:19:31 Caanan
And as you're going about doing smaller terms or smaller scale change in your life, trying out a new exercise routine or whatever the change may be, that you've decided is a New Year's resolution or you've just decided is important enough and potentially beneficial enough to you to just start. Allow yourself to change how you think about that. If once you start and the information you're getting from yourself, from your body, from whatever is telling you that isn't the right way to change, you can change your mind and do something different.
00:20:14 Kent
Yeah, I want to say too, just popping in and thinking about all the people we know who've started new career tracks or new schooling or whatever, and have given it a really good shake and have decided, oh gosh, this isn't a good fit. Of course, you've got to consider all the financial ramifications and time ramifications. This isn't about being flaky, but if you need to change your mind to not have a larger long-term disaster because you got into the wrong field or the wrong program, or you moved to the wrong part of town or whatever, you've got to be able to feel comfortable changing your mind.
00:21:04 Caanan
Kent, do you have a worth the time for us?
00:21:07 Kent
I do. And first, a disclosure to say we always talk about how we're going to try not to necessarily intertwine mind share and worth the time with the topic of the podcast. I'm throwing in the towel or the flag. What's the saying?
00:21:24 Caanan
Yeah, throwing in the towel.
00:21:25 Kent
Yeah, like it's an interesting job because like, yeah, the topic of a podcast we're going to record gets in the mind. And it's just tough not to then be thinking about, as we're thinking about components of that podcast, it's hard not to be thinking about what's happening in life and how that informs the podcast. So there isn't always going to be overlap between Mindshare and Worth the Time and the podcast we're recording. But I have a feeling that a lot of the time there will be so get used to it, get into it, right?
00:21:56 Caanan
Get into it.
00:21:57 Kent
Get into it. So I want to talk about a movie that I've been thinking about a lot, and we've been talking about a lot, and that is After the Hunt. Yeah.
00:22:07 Caanan
That's so good.
00:22:08 Kent
Starring Julia Roberts, Andrew Garfield, and a cast of crazily talented people. And it's interesting, the tie-in here, there's allegations, there's drama, it's a psychological thriller. There's this web of intrigue and definitely unanswered questions and myriad perspectives. And I love it because you've really got a, as we're talking about in this episode, look at it and go, well, from her perspective, this, from their perspective, that. Or I can see from his perspective, his motivation, his reason for being there, his whole personality is this.
And it really causes you to think not just from your viewpoint as a viewer or the viewpoint of your quote unquote favorite character in the movie really prompts you to kind of consider, it does a good job at prompting you to consider the different places that these different characters are coming from in then posing the narrative that they're posing.
00:23:17 Caanan
Yes. And I won't give any anything away. Please just say the end of this movie, and by end, I mean last few minutes, maybe last few seconds, are so contentious that they have letterboxed, like practically ripping their hair out. But wow, we talked about the end of this movie for a long time because we didn't just watch this. And I still, it totally lives rent-free in my head, and I'm still not sure how I feel about it.
00:23:50 Kent
But let me ask, Canaan. Did it prompt you to change your mind?
00:23:54 Caanan
To be determined.
00:23:57 Kent
Thanks for listening to the No Vacation Required podcast. For more information, including services designed to help you build a life you don't need a break from, check out novacationrequired.com. And if you found this information helpful, please subscribe.
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