Do You Know Who's Driving Your Personality – Everyday Fulfillment
No Vacation Required
We are going to be completely honest with you: this is the second in a four-pack of episodes that are a little different for us. If you have been listening for a while, you know we usually shy away from talking too much about our own services. But this week, we continue our dive into YouFinder – and yes, it’s a little self-promotional.
The truth is, we are just really proud of this product and what it can do for people. We have seen it change lives, and we want to talk more about it (before we go back to being our usual modest selves).
So, bear with us as we pull back the curtain on how we unpack personality. We think you will find it as fascinating as we do. Plus, we talk about the personality car, and if that doesn’t pique your interest, we don’t know what will. 😉
Onward and Inward,
COMMON QUESTIONS ANSWERED IN THIS EPISODE
❓ What is the "Personality Car"? The Personality Car is a metaphor we use to explain your personality hierarchy. Your dominant trait is the driver, your secondary trait is the passenger, your tertiary trait is the teenager behind the driver, and your inferior trait (the grip) is the baby behind the passenger.
❓ How do I know which part of my personality is driving? Your dominant trait is the one that has been with you the longest and feels the most natural. It is the part of your personality that you should lead with in order to feel the most fulfilled and effective.
❓ What is "the grip"? The grip is your inferior personality trait. Like a baby in a car, when it is happy, it is wonderful. But when it is stressed or overtired, it can completely take over (and make you feel like a totally different person).
❓ How do I snap out of the grip? The fastest way to snap out of the grip is simply to notice that you are in it. Once you recognize that your inferior trait has taken over, you can consciously shift your focus back to your dominant trait.
CHAPTERS
(00:00) Mind Share: The Best Cinnamon Rolls in Seattle
(02:28) Why we are talking about YouFinder
(04:14) Chapter 3: Type Dynamics and your internal hierarchy
(06:13) The Personality Car: Who is driving your life?
(10:24) Optimizing your specific personality stack
(12:02) Mailbag: How to snap out of "the grip”
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LINKS AND RESOURCES
🔗 Best Cinnamon Rolls in Seattle
🔗 YouFinder Personality Assessment and Self-discovery Experience
TRANSCRIPT
Caanan (00:02)
After many podcasts of foundational work, we're ready to show how we unpack personality and bring it to life in YouFinder This episode takes us beneath the surface with the personality stack, showing why different parts of your personality can feel stronger, weaker, more natural, or more challenging, depending on the situation. It's our way of explaining not just what your personality is, but how all the pieces actually work together.
Caanan (00:33)
Kent, you know I hate when you use the word yummy for things that aren't food, but I know your mind share today is yummy and that's an appropriate term.
Kent (00:42)
My mind share is about when things work out. And I just love when something lives up. We built our business off of things living up for people and people referring us. And we got to the part, you know, in the height of all our consulting and everything, where what 70, 80% of our business was referrals or repeat people. So
Kent (01:06)
when we have an experience that lives up, I love it. And I just want to share it. And I want to share that we had the most amazing cinnamon rolls in Seattle. And I know a lot of you don't care because you're not in Seattle, but you might visit Seattle. Are you going on that Alaska cruise and are you gonna spend a night in Seattle before you get on the boat? Are you gonna come to Seattle just because it's an awesome city? Well, you should. And if you come to Seattle
Kent (01:30)
You have to have these amazing cinnamon rolls. Now, what's sort of funny about this, how we don't edit stuff out, I actually can't remember the name of the place. I know Caanan will we'll link to it in our production notes, but Caanan just what's the name of the place? It's Flower. Rolled Flower. Wait.
Caanan (01:43)
Rolled rolled
Caanan (01:45)
flour or rolled flour? Rolled flour. Yeah. Yeah. that makes sense. Cinnamon rolls rolled flour. Yeah. An amazing pop-up.
Kent (01:55)
Not really a pop-up anymore.
Caanan (01:57)
It really
Caanan (01:57)
isn't a pop-up. Yeah. Anyway, if you're in Seattle, go check out these amazing cinnamon rolls and you're so right. They just deliver.
Kent (02:06)
If you're not in Seattle, look up on the web in drool
Caanan (02:11)
We love sharing this space with you. So if you want to help us reach more people, please hit that subscribe button and drop a comment or email us. We always love hearing your questions and thoughts.
Kent (02:28)
Okay, so we're talking about our
Kent (02:30)
YouFinder product. And just a reminder that after well, actually during our last three four packs, we got a number of emails from people talking about how they knew a personality where they've they've done the old four letter personality test, the what we call the one in sixteen personality test. But they weren't really aware of this deeper information we're getting into and and
Kent (02:56)
what we do and how we do it. So we just decided to do a final four pack on personality that summarizes a lot of the things we've talked about in these prior four packs on personality. And please if you haven't listened to those or if you want more context for something you hear here, know that you can go to those four packs and you'll probably get the info you're looking for But in this four pack, we're taking you on a journey through our
Kent (03:23)
core product which is YouFinder And in the first episode we talked about the first couple chapters of this five chapter
Caanan (03:34)
Report.
Kent (03:35)
Five chapter
Kent (03:36)
report. Yeah. and keep in mind it's not just a report, it's collaboration and communication. And and we're emailing or we're we're on the phone or we're texting, whatever form of communicating works best for you. And today we want to give you an idea of what's happening in chapter three. And to me when we listen to podcasts, I always hear myself say this, but this is my favorite part.
Kent (04:05)
Teaching people how to put what they learn in chapters one and two into action in chapter three.
Caanan (04:14)
Have to jump in and say this is the part where even if we're not doing YouFinder with somebody, when we are explaining this to somebody who we're just talking about personality with, and we're always talking about personality because it's what we love to do. This information that is in chapter three is the thing that usually you see the light in somebody's eyes really go on, yeah. Where things click.
Kent (04:41)
So in our next segment, Caanan's going to unpack, what this is. And essentially, chapter three is about type dynamics. type dynamics explores the internal hierarchy of your personality.
Kent (04:54)
The different parts of yourself that work together to influence how you think, how you make decisions, how you relate to others, and how you respond to challenges. We say that understanding these dynamics often helps people explain some of the apparent contradictions people experience within themselves. It sheds light on the way certain strengths feel effortless, why some growth areas feel persistently difficult, why stress can sometimes bring up behaviors that don't
Kent (05:20)
feel like you being your best. So this chapter, chapter three, is all about, okay, you learned a lot in chapters one and two about how you're one in sixteen, right? Which you also likely learned at that job you hate. Then in chapter two, you learn what makes you one in just over a million. And now you're learning, okay, how am I ordering all that information to just move through life
Kent (05:48)
In the most effective way?
Kent (05:54)
Hey, you what's coming?
Kent (05:55)
What?
Kent (05:56)
Beep beep. The personality car.
Caanan (05:59)
Personality car.
Kent (06:01)
Caanan, you you do a great job speaking to the personality car and actually you did it in some of the other four packs.
Kent (06:07)
Yeah...
Kent (06:08)
But now you're gonna give a comprehensive kind of overview of the personality car.
Caanan (06:13)
Yeah,
Caanan (06:13)
the personality car is not it's not a perfect metaphor, but it's so helpful and every time we use it, like I said, people really get it. This is how I understood it the very first time.
Kent (06:26)
Other people use the personality car, other people who who do this type of work. We've tried to get away from it 'cause it's not perfect, but it really is the one that resonates the most with people.
Caanan (06:39)
It
Caanan (06:39)
makes the most sense. so the personality car is really just a way to understand your personality hierarchy. Surprise! if you've not listened to some of our previous four packs, which are now in playlists on YouTube if that's where you're finding us. your personality is more than just a single thing.
Caanan (07:03)
It's quite complex actually. Yeah. And so the personality car helps you understand the hierarchy. It helps you understand how different parts of your personality show up, how to use them, how they interrelate, which is kind of fascinating. And how how they help you respond to stress or not. Yeah. Or not. but I'll just give you a quick overview if you haven't listened to those previous podcasts. And
Kent (07:31)
And I don't think we've ever
Kent (07:32)
gotten into them comprehensively, but have we not
Kent (07:38)
We a little bit, but we I don't think we talked about it. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Okay. Who's driving?
Caanan (07:42)
Well, I'm gonna outline it
Caanan (07:44)
outline it boom boom boom. The person or the part that is driving the personality car is your dominant personality trait. Okay? It's the one who's in charge and it's your most mature personality trait. It's the one that's been with you the longest. Yeah. The passenger of the car is your secondary personality trait.
Caanan (08:11)
And this is a less mature personality trait, still quite strong in most people. It's the one that shows up just a little later in life, maybe late adolescence, maybe your teen years, maybe even early twenties.
Kent (08:27)
Yeah, it really starts to get developed then. Yeah.
Caanan (08:30)
And then in the back seat behind the driver is your tertiary personality trait. And that personality trait is less mature even than the passenger. Yeah. we often refer to it as the teenager because it can show up in ways that a teenager might show up. A little impetuous, a little immature, but also quite creative and interesting.
Caanan (08:59)
And a really positive part of your personality. And then the one that is most interesting, I think, to a lot of people is sitting behind the passenger. And this is your inferior personality trait. And the thing that's so fun about your inferior personality trait, maybe fun isn't the right word, but it's often referred to as the grip because
Caanan (09:25)
It's like a baby. And so we often say, you know, like a baby in the car, if it if the baby is quiet and cooing the baby is wonderful. Yeah. Everybody loves the baby. But if the baby starts crying or acting up,
Caanan (09:42)
it really can suck all the air out of the car. Everybody's attention turns to the baby. And this is how your inferior personality trait can work. and of course you're if you go to chapter three of this report
Caanan (09:56)
If you work with us, you learn way more than that cursory overview. But I hope that gives you some idea of how your personality stack works. And if you've never learned about this before, like really feels exciting to you to learn more about your personality.
Kent (10:24)
so the personality car, and just to give just to illuminate this a little bit more, what it does is in telling you that driver, the passenger, the teenager behind the driver, and the baby behind the passenger, it tells you what personality segment is in each of those spots.
Kent (10:51)
so just to give you an example, we both have introverted intuition in that driver spot. Now again, this is all different depending on your personality type, but just having that information, and we're gonna get into this more having that information alone.
Kent (11:12)
What's in the driver's seat? I know that I should lead with my intuition. Right. That gut knowingness, that ability to make connections that's kind of beyond
Kent (11:30)
Perception. Right. And that if I'm leaning into another function first, that I'm not optimizing my personality. So that gives you a sense of how this works on a specific level. You'll then get that personality component for the passenger, the teenager, the baby. Yep. You know how
Kent (11:59)
to optimize your specific personality.
Caanan (12:02)
It's mailbag time and Kent, I have a question for you that came up before I knew this is what we were talking about on this episode, And it is the perfect question based on what I said about how people are kind of fascinated with the grip.
Kent (12:18)
Yeah.
Caanan (12:21)
Person wrote and said, if I notice I'm in the grip, what is the fastest way to snap out of it?
Kent (12:29)
Okay, so first of all, I think we did talk about this. This is maybe somebody asked a similar question.
Caanan (12:35)
They asked a similar question but it was like y it wasn't this. Okay. It was trying to understand the grip versus over relying on your dominant...
Kent (12:44)
Yeah.
Kent (12:44)
Okay, so as Caanan said, sometimes the inferior, the toddler in that position behind the passenger, the toddler. It's referred to as the grip or the inferior position. This is a common type of thing because people want to know,
Kent (13:02)
Okay, that's not an optimal place to for me to be. How do I get out of it? And the answer is refreshingly simple, which is you know your stack. We we call between the two of us and and with clients, we call the personality car. It's ultimately your personality stack, dominant, auxiliary, tertiary, inferior. You know your stack. Get out of position four –
Kent (13:28)
your grip, and get into your position one, your dominant. That is that is the best way. And by knowing, you know, as this person said, I'm in the grip, then you you have a knowledge of this. Yeah. And that's the only way
Kent (13:48)
you know how to be this productive because a lot of times one of the one of the best days of your life you know they talk about your first kid they talk about your marriage they talk about whatever one of the best days of your life is when you learn your stack and you learn your grip and you can flash back to all of the times you've been in your grip and now you have this language – now you know
Kent (14:17)
I felt unable to function. Well, it's because it's your it's your grip. Get out of that grip or use it effectively.
Caanan (14:24)
Yeah.
Caanan (14:25)
I was gonna point out that fascinating to me, this person answers their own question in the question. Like if I notice I'm in the grip, what is the fastest way to snap out of it? Well, noticing you're in the grip. So knowing what the grip is, knowing what your grip is and being aware of it is really
Caanan (14:51)
That's the basis of getting out of the grip and then moving into your dominant function. Kind of fascinating.